Ameyn (an Aramaic form of Amen meaning “This is the ground of my connection with Unity, from which all my actions will flow”)
I will emerge myself in a subject that was debated, is debated and will be debated time and time again.
For most of my life, I have been researching and wanting to understand what my connection with everything around me is. Where do I stand in relation to this planet and this universe? Why am I here? How did I get here, and I am not referring to the process where my parents conceived me and my mother gave birth to me. I have 3 girls of my own, I am fully aware and experienced in the procreation process. I am referring to something much much more complex, as in my soul, or my spirit.
You cannot deny that something more is going on with us as humans. I refuse to believe that I was born to eat, sleep, go to work and multiply. I refuse to believe that even though I am surrounded by people, my life consists of a series of chores that amount to nothing. I say that because I know I will die. I know my life will end and then what? What happens after I die? And on the same note, what happened before I was born?
I assume by now, after these few short paragraphs you can understand where I am going.
If you think I am about to talk about my connection with All There Is, in plain language, God, you are absolutely right. I will not use the word God, except here to explain myself. The word God is a concept way overdone. God is used so often and in so many contexts that it has lost its meaning. So instead, I will borrow a reference I read in a book, and rename God, All There Is. You don’t have to agree with me, you can continue calling God, God, there is nothing wrong with that, but for me, the word itself lost its meaning. Ultimately, what name you use, or what name I use, should have no relevance except a way of identifying what we are referring at.
Let’s start with my own search for All There Is. I was born and raised in a Roman Catholic home. For those who don’t know, probably like other religions out there, Roman Catholics follow the bible and have a rich ritual. Our schedule was Sunday church, Saturdays we had religion hour where all the kids in the parish would gather and we were taught the bible. Before I continue, I want to make it clear I am not accusing or against anyone who did that, or whose children do that, I am sharing with you my story and my personal search to Understand.
One of my biggest frustrations was that I understood nothing of what was going on. I had to do things because I was told to do them. I went to church because I was told to go. I was an altar girl because I was told I had to. I participated in church activities on holidays such as Christmas, first because me and my brother were musically inclined and we were always the ones picked to sing, and second because I had to. I went to confession because I had to and as soon as I got out, I did something “bad” so I wondered what is the point of confession? By “bad”, I mean I fidgeted on the bench in church or I didn’t pay attention to what the priest was saying.
None of this made sense to me! Once I grew older, I started asking questions that no one could give me an answer to. The only answer I got was “That is what the bible is saying”. You think that satisfied me? Not even a little. So, I did what every normal teenager does when they don’t understand what is going on, I rebelled against the whole religion thing.
In 6st grade, my parents sent me to study music in a different city, and that was my brake up with Roman Catholic church and all its charade. I said to myself, if no one can explain to me in a way that I can understand, then I don’t want to know anything anymore. From that moment on, I had no more interest in anything religious related. I told myself “I am free”. At that time, little did I know that what that was, was simply the beginning of a search on the subconscious level.
You see, I wanted to believe! I wanted so much to believe but no one could get to me in a way that I could! No one spent some time with me to make me understand. To throw a monkey wrench in this whole thing, even if they would have, I would have not believed them. Why? Because what I know now, and what I have experienced and continue to experience, is not the conventional faith you all are accustomed to. What I believe in, and what I know to be the truth about All There Is, is the total opposite of what you know and what you were taught for thousands of years in any religion, not just the Roman Catholic one.
Did I get your attention? I sure hope I did.
So, what is the great mystery? What I experienced is that all this time we got it backwards. By that I mean we look outside for salvation. We reach outwards for All There Is. We aim for the skies. We have this erroneous idea that our immortality will come from somewhere out there, if we do good things. If we behave in a way that is accepted. If we pray and follow the rules and regulations some people made for us and packed them in a book. And the biggest lie of all is that this salvation will come after we die.
Here is where my mind starts spinning and I go back to what I said before. So, my life on this planet is a chain of do’s and don’ts in order to qualify for happiness ever after I die? Is this making sense to anyone? And if I don’t follow the rules I am doomed for eternity? Allow me to say that I don’t believe in any of that. By that I am referring to the Heaven and Hell concept.
Let me explain how I see this. Based on fact, the bible was canonized at The First Council of Nicaea by the Roman Emperor Constantine in AD 325. Since then, the bible underwent a lot of modifications and alterations until we got the finished product we have today. So, given the fact that someone chose from all the gospels available at that time, and they are many, to only pick a few to consist this holly book, I ask you this. How accurate you think this is? What do you think the intention of the Emperor was at that time? How much truth you think is in this book, that you are willing to live and to die by its word? Again, so there is no confusion, I am not accusing what the bible has to say, I simply do not agree with the fact that is held on the highest pedestal.
I do have an answer to all this. The reason is quite simple, and it applies even today. Control! The emperor wanted to control the masses, thus he put this whole thing together.
Therefore we are looking for answers outwards, because we were told the answers are out there, this is why we are searching somewhere up and high in the sky when the truth and the answers are staring us right in the face.
Pick up a mirror, go ahead, pick it up and look in it. What do you see? You see You! And who are you? You are who you are searching for! And what are you searching? You’re searching for the answers to all the questions! And who has the answers to all the questions? You do! And who are you? You are the beginning and the end, the life and death, the love that spreads all around you from within you! You are part of everything, and everything is part of you! All that’s around you, are within you! All that’s within you are around you! All There Is, is all that you are! You are All There Is and All There Is, is You! You’re looking at it! The answers are within you! All there Is, is within You! Not out there, not somewhere among the clouds. All There Is, is the clouds and the sky and the grass and the stars and the smell and the touch and the sound and the cry and the laughter and YOU! Close your eyes and listen! That’s the place you must explore long and hard. Inside you, not outside. Salvation comes from within, the answers come from within, joy comes from within, love comes from within, immortality comes from within. Stop looking up and start looking deep in.
In conclusion, I am All There Is, and All There Is is I.
I shifted my search from Out, In. I switched my perception of an All There Is out there in the sky to an All There Is in my own flesh.
This changed the whole view. Is like bending over and looking upside down between your own knees. I see the world differently, I feel it differently, I experience it differently, I Understand! All along I was looking from the wrong angle. Everything is clear now.
With this realization, of course comes great responsibility. There is no one to blame anymore but me. There is no one to praise anymore but me. The power and the energy that fills me has no limit, has no end. Even after I die, I continue to live because All There Is is all that was and all that ever will be. Before I was born, I was part of All There Is and i will return to All There Is.
The Heaven that I came to know, is the heaven I create for myself here and now. Same goes for the Hell.
It will take time to get accustomed to this new way of thinking. It took me a long time, but once you do, everything will be clear. So crystal clear, that people around you will notice the change in your behavior.
Your life will change, and you will touch the life of those around you. You will see them with different eyes, you will listen to them with different ears. You will recognize those who have not found the answer and you will rejoice with those who did.
My religion is love. My power, forgiveness.
My dream is reality. My word is my soul.
I tremble and shiver in my own presence,
I look and I quiver not to feel the absence.
My home is my body. My temple, my heart.
I give you my spirit and keep it inside.